One time I was in a meeting, and the girl next to me kept rocking in her chair really slowly and making some strange and almost uncomfortable-sounding noises under her breath, and I asked, “Are you okay? What are you doing?” and she said, “The seam where these pants are sewn together is in the perfect spot,” and I was just like, “Oh. Okay,” and went right back to listening to the dude at the head of the table talk about finances.

This post is a classic case of a one two punch